Whats wrong with your business card?

We get out and about quite a lot and do our fair share of networking, so as you can imagine we get our fingers on lots of business cards. Business cards are a vitally important catalyst to winning business, so make sure you don't make a flop of it with overdone puns and cheesy concepts. Take a look at our collection of detail disasters. We rated them out of 10 on our fail scale, 10 being an utter fail, 1 being a mild fail.

1. In at number one - The Meat Card! Yes, you read it right, a business card made out of meat. That's great until the person you have given it to decides to eat it on the way home from meeting you... oh well - business lost! 7/10 on our fail scale.

2. The Condom Card - Designed by a Romanian advertising agency trying to help a local divorce lawyer get noticed. This card comes complete with bright colours, suggestive poses on the inside and even instructions for use. Not too sure anyone is going to keep the wrapper after use, or even at that point if they need to. NSFW? Anyway, it scores a high fail of 9/10.


3. The Tearable Divorce Lawyer Card - Ok, so this looks very clever for about 10 seconds... then we decided to pick the bones out of it! The clever part: Contact details on both sides of the tear, you tear in half so each person has one. The bones: in the case of a divorce, it would be unethical for the lawyer to represent both parties, and when you tear it in half it seems someone is on first name terms and the other just gets the surname. This novelty soon wore off, 5/10 - medium fail! 


4. The Inflatable Card - This doctor's inflatable business card (useful for birthdays, office openings and the inevitable collapsed lung) fails two of the most basic elements for a useful card: you cannot read it unless inflated and when inflated you cannot read it. Since these business cards belong to an asthma clinic, the likelihood is you'll need care before you can blow it up and if you can blow it up you won't need them! Utter fail 10/10!


5. The Breast Card - Imagine going for an appointment at plastic surgeons and showing how big you want them on his business card! hmmm not sure if this one is funny, offensive or just downright rude! OK so the blokes will probably enjoy poking their fingers in the little holes, but I'm certain this will lose more clients than it has won! This gets a cheesy 8/10.


6. The QR Card - What does a Gameboy and QR code have in common? Not much! Apart from both being old, not used much anymore and... well, if you are going to use a QR code at least have some other details on so you don't force your potential client to scan it for them or they will just throw it away. 5/10 middle fail.

7. The Clipart Card - This one died with Microsoft Publisher! Full of delightful clipart to make it really unique. If you do have to use horrible clipart, make sure you don't crop them off so the potential client can see what they are (unlike these balloons). Note: check for typos you don't want a dodgy hyphen making you uncontactable. This one gets a 6/10 on the fail scale.


8. The Wolf Card - Sorry just don't get it! Why is the wolf howling from behind the moon? Google "Bad Business Cards" and this is number 3 (don't worry number 1 is up next). "When good is not enough, call BAD?" 8/10


9. The Clean Concept Card - Here is it, number one for "Bad Business Card" in Google. A cluster of fonts, colours and gradients, giving marketing a truly bad name! 5/10


10. The Workout Card - When someone got overly creative with a concept and was allowed to run with it, only for it to end in something like this. OK, this is a fun gimmick for a personal trainer – when you stretch it reveals the logo and name. Say you want to call on your mobile? How do you stretch it with one hand? Design for design’s sake. 4/10


11. The Foldup Card - Yes this one is very pretty and clever. But I just can't help in thinking it is going to become a paper aeroplane. It scores low on the fail scale, as it could pass as OK. 1/10.



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